Ch (10) Thinking priorities

Here again..
Its me alone in my tiny barred cell..
And I think.. 

Through the narrow high masked window seeps a hint of the fresh open air outside, and I can hear the chatter of the tiny brown birds nearby.
The trickle of air and muted sunrise dawn light joins their music to signal a new day..
As it all creeps in past the heavy bars and punched steel plating.. ..

to me. 

But..
The world is so busy..
The birds say the same...
And I am here marking time..
So many of us here have waited so long in anticipation for some chance of reprieve and sadly..
Too many with me have not lasted. They get weaker and lose hope and just die. 

Far away from here...
My closest family, each so patient and long-suffering are being snatched away one by one as I watch so helplessly.

I know they've forgiven me for the choices I've made and we've exchanged a steady flow of love and care...
But it was never nearly enough...
Even though..
That by my very absence..
It was more. 

There is so much to be done and I'm not doing enough of it.. 
My nagging conscience drives me to maintain contact with as many folk that have found me here and seen much of this travesty. 
Folks that have shown so much compassion and care.. and many among them who need me too.

Everyone is so busy I see..
Progressing and dealing with their lives as they must..
So I try to be more like those birds outside..
And not to fret too much.
No more than only for now and today.. Knowing that tomorrow will be it's own matter. 

Priorities in this busy overstressed world are so critical to our progress and very survival but they can be re arranged. 
This tiny prison cell and all these tormenting years have done this for me.
Given me a chance to step back and take stock.

 My most passionate allegiances and obligations are naturally to my closest loved ones... closely followed by many caring friends who have shown me what a great privelage it is to love and care for someone other than oneself.

. And as things go..
Also for those that I am still getting to know..
Those with whom I will be able to share the accumulations of my soul with.. for ever. 

Thats much of what this is about...

I think..?