Wednesday, March 29, 2023

Peter talks of pride.. my big brother.

Brothers who Loved


My youngest Brother Peter now deceased,,,2017
Hmm no not recces.. We went into ops with them when I was ops medic.. But no. I'm glad I was not a killer recce.. They were all very crazy..
I was simply with mechanised infantry in Ratels.
Tam was a really top platoon leader of groups in operational areas.  A much better soldier than me but he turned bossies one day and was returned to base after serious conflict trauma.
Peter heard about all the glowing achievements by his two elder brothers and it affected his self esteem but still made him proud I think.
That was the problem with Peter all along was that he always compared himself as youngest brother with the feats achieved by his two older brothers.. He never got his fair share of praise.. The drugs made it even worse.. And he was always the bad apple.. But still the best personality.. Everyone liked him and he could cook up a storm with nothing.. He had a huge gift.. So. I look back on it and see how many mistakes I made with Peter without realizing it.  How hard he tried to impress me when I didn't have time to see.
Everything he did he showed me and always gave me do much respect.. More than anyone else.. And I didn't realize what it was.. Only now.. Too late.
Yes he was always so openly proud of me at SACS school where I was before him. And then during army where I did well too.. Then also in Iraq where  I had much success and many adventures.. And then was jailed for 25 years where I endured the most horrific ten years before I was finally pardoned. Peter was on the whatsapp all the time supporting  me and was proud of me there too as I turned the worst situation to benefit and achieved much global support. Peter never faltered in his belief in me when many, including my other brother... The embassy, my ex wife and a lot of friends.. Fairly trusted the verdict of the Arab state over my muted and stifled version of events. 
Pete knew..He was the only one that I had told about everything... He took it all with him forever..
I miss him so much now..

Tuesday, December 6, 2022

Guilt or Innocence in Summary of Aftermath

Guilt or Innocence



There were bonds of gold as hundreds of veterans reached out to me, as I lay incarcerated in a foreign prison far away and hopelessly cut off from any contact with family and friends.

Friendships forged over years of living and working and training together as young soldiers, extended out to me there without condemnation or reserve.

As I found myself lost in the depths of a foreign Jail, lonely and bewildered by a savage injustice, the same we see in global structures today where the real criminals rule and good men are silenced. There were many barriers for me to overcome before I was able to determine what had happened and there were no lawyers or diplomats powerful enough to overcome the almighty judicial authority. 

The only course left to me was to persevere because to fail or give up at this stage would leave me condemned even as I contemplated suicide. Initially the prison conditions were horrific as I battled to find my place amongst many others also desperate to survive. Boarding school and army had prepared me well for this ordeal but no previous lodgings were as tough as this for me, after having been completely wiped out of life and blackened with a crime so false and impossible that I was sure every day that someone would come to their senses soon enough. They did not

 and as the months rolled on it looked like they would all soon forget me.

They didn’t.

Middle Eastern Toilets — Turkish, Syrian, Egyptian ToiletsVeterans far and wide got to hear about this and talked amongst themselves. In time I managed to get to an illegal phone where I was able to initiate widespread contact and report on the situation. News amongst our networks spread and more key figures managed to get into close contact with me as I sat so firmly muzzled in this maximum security prison holding hordes of murderers and drug traffickers. I found myself alone, as I was a tall European amongst a sea of others. I stuck out quite prominently and became accustomed to the way they would all watch me wherever I went. There were not many that could speak English and I could not speak Arabic at all.

Embassy was concerned for my welfare as I was so frequently accosted by fanatical extremist Isis inmates. The prison authorities were then compelled to place me into a different block for political prisoners where many spoke English. As time went by I was able to set a good example wherever I went. I cleaned the sludge off the floor and wiped the grunge off the black shower walls. There were actually white tiles under there and I started the long process of cleaning that no one else had ever considered doing. My shower space became bright and clean and many came in to see it. I said nothing ,

The dusty exercise yards were knee high in litter, cigarette stubs and cat shit. Every day I would fill a dustbin bag as the others sat slouching against the walls. Watching me.  Then I would run circuits  and they would watch frowning with disapproval at my unusually disturbing activity. Every day that yard got cleaner and soon a few started to join me collecting the stinking mess. There are nine yards like that alongside each of the blocks and all of them were equally covered in refuse. Empty drink bottles, cans, boxes, chip packets, tins, foam food containers and cigarette ends. The wardens started to see the difference. I said nothing. They just watched.

The veterans were clearly becoming quite worried about me when the embassy was unable to make any effective approach. They then initiated closer contact with the Embassy via London and Washington, which made a big difference for me as more interest in my welfare was exposing the situation better and preventing it all being swept under the carpet. School friends and veterans began to send me small amounts of money which was a huge relief and for me it was confirmation that there were so many out there who really cared. My spirits were buoyed and I was able to buy a small illegal mobile phone with a Wi-Fi router which changed everything. More and more comrade veterans realised that there was definitely something very wrong with the system that had so carelessly condemned me. For the Kuwaiti prosecutors it was a means to point fingers away from their own. No amount of cooperation or logical explanations would convince them of their error. The more I tried to cooperate, the deeper the hole became. It was clearly futile to attempt to explain everything where there were no credible witnesses or any valid evidence.  The Veterans did not stop trying to get in touch with me and kept up the pressure on Embassy. General Roland sent me a military book which the embassy felt would not be permitted into the prison system, so I never received it. I watched it’s progress on my little phone as it travelled from stage to stage as many vets undertook to get the book to Kuwait and then on to me. I am so grateful to them even so, for their efforts and compassion in this undertaking.

What followed here was the gradual recovery of my self-esteem as my alleged convictions became more clearly delinquent to everyone. It was clear that the most senior prison managers were aware that they had imprisoned the wrong guy, but they were powerless to interfere with the judicial decree or all the powerful political motives. I finally earned my own cell and took pride in making it comfortable and clean in preparation for what I could see was going to be a long stay.  My shower is through that blue door in the photo and the tiles are sparkling white.

 

The HC medal I received way back in 1980 suddenly became a more prominent issue as it highlighted my military background along with a commendable reputation which all helped to improve my political profile at the embassy and amongst thousands of veterans. As far as I was concerned all that heroism was gone and past but our vets dredged it all up and presented it loud and clearly in the many appeals for my complete exoneration and immediate release. I needed any and all the glowing testimonials I could lay my hands on from far and wide. Greatly respected and revered friends and veterans alike began to direct powerful letters of appeal to the embassies and the Kuwaiti authorities. Some wrote to the Queen and prime ministers, Tony Blair, Gordon Brown, David Cameron only to receive polite avoidances and ominous silences. It became clear there was no one who would dare confront the wayward Kuwaiti judiciary at the risk of damaging political relations during this period of the Arab Spring. My own family endured the most terrible levels of shame as my convictions were further confirmed and the steel doors closed down even tighter. Petitions started circulating and the local newspapers published an article which tracked the number of responses that were mounting every day. See attached photo.  Soon the prison bosses had seen my picture in the papers and brought the situation to the attention of the Kuwaiti authorities. The veterans rallied and the Kuwait authorities searched desperately for an excuse to get rid of me. They could not concede that they had made this mistake costing my company millions of dollars in lost contracts and great embarrassment.. they could not set me free too early either so they waited for the birthday of their leader, the Amir of Kuwait. On the very same day exactly ten years after my arrest I was lifted onto the shoulders of hundreds of cheering inmates who carried me to the waiting escort at the huge steel door that had held me so tightly all these years. It was always a joyful occasion as each of us finally left through that thick steel door. I gave my tools and all my most precious possessions away. Often it was equally sad to see the faces of so many of those still left behind, with so many more years to wait. I was even more inspired as I received communications from a few of the greats, Dippies, Roland, Dawid.L ,Terblanche and Savides. Highlanders and Steenkamp amongst many esteemed veteran leaders.

61 Veterans all became aware of the situation and grouped together very effectively. Their efforts inflated my heart as I took on new challenges. I learnt to read and write in Arabic and participated in intensive religious studies at the Islamic schools within the prison system. I joined the workshops and took on several courses as an electrician and a TV satellite technician. My privileges were extended as the prison managers saw my efforts and the examples that I had been setting.

So much more positive achievements transpired as I received so much encouragement from our veteran groups all over the world. They cared and I was proud to be one of them as much as they were all so proud of me.

I took on every day with success and started playing the musical instrument as the music so long dear revived inside my heart. I was able to send a recording which I played, of the hymn, “Amazing Grace” which was played at my dear mother’s funeral. My son started to interact we me gradually over Whatsapp and shared with me some clips he had recorded of himself playing the saxophone so beautifully.

There were so many concerned and generous friends ,family and veterans who all contributed to the vast combined freedom project. It definitely made a huge difference. It worked.

The day finally came when I was escorted to the Airport and ushered onto a plane to London where I was met by Family, friends and veterans. My airfares paid in full by great friends and veteran groups. Onward I went to Johannesburg and Cape town where further great welcomes awaited me.  Many who  had shared in the anguish of this unfortunate human travesty. Many who had watched as my old mother and youngest brother both died waiting for my return. Many who had watched in sadness and horror at the shame and loss endured by my young son and brave Wife Linda who found themselves completely destitute and abandoned on a single day in 2008.  I finally returned home and was able to attend a number of welcoming functions for both family and military veterans.

There was no more shame in the end and once again, I regained my greatest pride being once again, a 61Mech Veteran.

My gratitude to you all

 

 

Home safe November 2018

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Incentives to persevere

Recognition of the great honour of bravery awards and good reputation

Conflicts of guilt over a war long past

The Arrival of the Ratel Book and support from great veteran Leaders

Acknowledgement by Embassy that there was more to this lone prisoner

Diplomatic pressure and ever increasing social media exposure.

Outpouring of sympathy and financial assistance from near and far.

Airfares and travel funding afforded by veteran individuals.