Military 4 = Death all Alone

A response to an old friend regarding a fear worse than death alone... dying alone..THE PINCH ZONE. 

This happened to me and many others some days in 1980.
Something I wanted to share with others who may have had the same thoughts.
Here I write to Dawid .. an honoured veteran .. esteemed poet and author.
a facet of my response to your clear and vivid images on recent posts.

I am so enjoying your writings here silent and alone..and I am most anxious to tell you this.

Images of our thoughts when confronted by the "pinch zone"   .. do or die. Combat situations.

I am not as well experienced as you by far.. but still remember these same dilemmas that confronted all of us.

Me then just a little lancejack section MEDIC.  and then..  

As you so poignantly describe...The fear of the bullet that hunts for your destruction and pain.

The fear of Death itself is something else.?. it was something less realistic then to us young boys,  I think.?. quick final and there were few options.

Except maybe.. dying alone.. ?

Now there is one I saw..and today is still  my lasting sadness.

But not here. Later for that.
Another sad tale..

But what happens before such combat situations ...is the part that burns itself deeply into those of us who have been so close to it and dodged it.

Seen the side of its face in an instant and ducked away out of its random clutching reach.

The choices we make.. the training we've had.. the weapons and equipment.. our comrades.. all have direct bearing on life or death here. 

So "random" may be used speculatively I think? 

The constant expectation of being taken by that speeding spinning metal projectile.

The savage numbing thud..and its impact, as its kinetic energy transfer into your flesh.. A pulp of fragments or death.
Breathless and winded and suffocating you glance down to where your webbing once  covered your stomach to see vapour, dust and blood .. and the numbness.

Or perhaps your leg gone completely and shredded battle fatigues soaked in blood.

And the smell of singed hair ..that same dust ..and your fresh blood... and yet even as the whole world is tilted sideways..
Still the hope and trust in knowing that your comrades wont leave you.

That they will fetch you..? fix you.?. the medics .. doctors and the great hospitals.?

Frightened more.. alone now they have all gone as the afternoon sun settles low. Cant feel your legs.. flies in your face..eyes..

Only minutes pass and sand in your mouth..lie still.. no pain..And then sounds of voices .. percussive battle.. and then faces close and supporting.

Gentle words and hands deftly bandaging.. no longer alone..now safe.

Reassurance and relief and hope  consoling the terror.. washed away in floods of adrenaline.

All too soon.. embers of hope seep away... lying in the lee of the vehicle as flies feast and swarm. 

A hand in yours ..as waves of pain sweep through your ebbing hope. Futile tourniques.. morphine and ineffective saline drips.

The rescue too late.. the light grows dim and a prayer at last and a brave knowing smile and closing dry hot eyes and so forever in peace. Cold.. 

But not alone.. That is what happened and i am sure much the same as what you have heard before.

This was a part of operation  smokeshell I witnessed ...and those  young men who waited so long for casevac.. and died under my care... but with their hands in ours.. gently. 
So Dawid.. this is a tiny bit of what your words ignite in all of us I am sure..

And I have never stopped listening to others who tell of much the same.. sadness and loss.. gallantry.. futility and it all just keeps on repeating.

Different place.. different time.. same blood.. brave young men.

Same in the Bible.. over and over..Far worse then than now..
We never learn..wont change..

I never respond enough as I read the appreciation by so many who have chanced apon your most vivid articulations.

 Most accurate and inspired by your experience and I am sure.. the grateful responses by all of us who devoted our lives to the same causes and live to tell of that war and its secrets that we are perhaps still fighting today.