Thursday, July 7, 2016

Military 2 = Survivor Guilt.. Shared Honour

Response by

Gareth Rutherford...Regarding the award of Honorus Crux for gallantry and to a glowing tribute to the thirteen young men that died one day defending our country in June 1980 as recorded by Revered Historian, Mentor and Devoted schoolmaster..

Mr Axel  Brauman.


Gareth writes... 

Thank you Sir for awakening this long dormant memory..by this great tribute to the men who were part of one of the last few concerted military operations executed in the defence of our heritage ...civilization and hometowns..

Most importantly as the echos of yesterdays anniverary of op Sceptic still reverberate on 10th June every year, the memories of our lost brothers, forever young and brave. We will never forget them. 

I have explained previously how I always was embarrassed at being the only HC recipient  that day amongst many braver men.

Everyone taking part in that intense battle did something brave in that enemy territory, and in a fair world there would have been 500 awards..

But it cannot be so.. there has to be something rare and uncommon for this award to be of any significance.

As it happened, I was doing the right thing that day.. in the right place and I was seen doing it.. by the right person.. unknown to myself...enough to be noticed and commended.

Credit to my training and trainers who were most proud of this HC..
it was as much their achievement as it was to Col Dippenaar leading us into battle and Col Tony Savides our Commanding Officer back at base. 

There were silences by my comrades that caused me great distress and reservations 
because every one of them deserved that same award. .. we know that.

After many years of discussion and detailed introspection ..
we realised that my declining the award would have been a pointless snub.. And so I undertook to use it as a lense, to focus back to our fallen,  and the brave soldiers who made up that team..our platoon... our entire battle group.

It is an accolade to be hailed and applauded.. not to me alone .. but to the calibre of the men that fought together that day all those years ago. Every grenade thrown or bullet fired by me those days came from the concerted efforts of every chef and Admin clerk back at base all the way down the line. 

So today.. I no longer scuttle around in pensive glory.. or undeserving shame...
I will wear that award proudly in front of them all, now knowing that I am their representative..
and my voice and pen will continue to hail their great efforts so proudly.

For many years the "survivor guilt" I carried cast doubts on my pride and this great honour.

 As I was honoured, the bravest lay dead as their families grieved. It was so hard. 

Time was generous to me and after many close examinations of the events by the wisest of our historians, I became ever more grateful to find that every one of my fellow veterans present there in that battle, applauded my single actions that day, running the gauntlet alone and tending the wounded and dying under fire.. Actions that were well deserving of this great acknowledgement..

To any one that ever disapproved...I will gladly hand it over to him.

Thank you my brothers for your vital affirmations.. Of this accolade most humbly appreciated and worn with such great honour.

But yes.. most proudly still..
An accolade for 61⚡⚡, and never to forget those who died and their long-suffering families.

God bless them all. 


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